Keys to Family Happiness
I went to the market this afternoon ( Dec. 14, 2008 ) and there was a woman who was just standing beside the wet market and she was holding some leaflets. I saw her giving the leaflets to the people. It was just a piece of folded paper. When I was in front of her, she gave me the small paper but I didn’t read it until I got home. I cooked and then we ate. I was already sitting outside at our house when I remembered the leaflet. I went back inside and I read the leaflet. The content of the leaflet is this.
Four Steps to Solving Problems
1. Set a time to discuss the issue.
For everything there is an appointed time,…a time to keep quiet and a time to speak. Some problems may evoke strong emotions. If that happens, have the self-control to call a temporary halt - - to “keep quiet” - - before tempers flare.
2. Express your opinion honestly and respectfully
Be honest and specific about your feelings when talking to your mate. Remember, your goal when discussing a problem is, not to win a battle or conquer an enemy, but simply to let your mate know your thoughts. To do so effectively, state what you think the problem is, then say when it arises, and then explain how it makes you feel.
3. Listen to and acknowledge your mate’s feelings.
Few things cause more unhappiness in a marriage than the impression that your partner does not understand how you feel about a problem. So be determined not to give your mate such an impression! Allow your spouse the dignity of expressing his or her opinion without interruption. Then, to ensure that you understood what was said, rephrase what you heard and repeat it to your mate, doing so without sarcasm or aggression. Permit your mate to correct you if you misunderstood something that was said. Do not do all the talking. Take turn in this style of conversation until you both agree that you understand each other’s thoughts and feelings on the matter.
4. Agree on a solution.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. Few problems in a marriage can be solved unless both partners work together and support each other. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. Sometimes there are just different opinions on how to solve a problem but the key to success is to be flexible and reasonable.
I post it here because I just want to share with you about this message from the church.